


Ham Squah: Squah Up

by gamegrumpsfanimated



Series: Ham Squah [20]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Multi, Other, angie likes to flirt with gwash, oh boy, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 00:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11325033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamegrumpsfanimated/pseuds/gamegrumpsfanimated
Summary: sirburr: do you guys seriously consider shrek 2 a classic moviehamfam: ffyck this is why nobody likes you burr no appreciation for the finer arts at allangel: Burr you fucking slutlaffytaffy: don't call burr a slut alex will get a boner





	Ham Squah: Squah Up

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so no new updates for a while, I'm sure, because I guess I need a sort of break. Expect the same for Sons of Libertea.
> 
> title suggestion from anon!

laffytaffy: do you all want to hear my new mood  
  
angel: if this is another link to a baguette picture im going to block you on every social media I have  
  
jawnlawn: ^^  
  
mulligone: i happen to love his baguette  
  
hamfam: gross. moving on  
  
laffytaffy: [help.pinkguy.mp3]  
  
pegleg: wow... Lafayette actually said something relevant for once  
  
washingdone: finally something i can relate to  
  
angel: I didn't know gwash was dead inside like the rest of us  
  
sirburr: hes made it really obvious how have you guys not noticed  
  
royaltea: ...  
  
_royaltea added seaberry to the chat._  
  
whoresneaker: put that thing back where it came from or so help me  
  
marialews: glad to see you've changed your name. copyin ass smh  
  
hamfam: YOURE NOT SLICK YOU FRAT BOY DICK DELETE YOURSELF AND YOUR BOYFRIEND  
  
seaberry: what a warm welcome  
  
royaltea: he's not my bf how many must I say this to you  
  
jawnlawn: until we actually believe you. so you're never gonna stop saying it  
  
angel: hey guys im quittin being a professional hoe to pursue my dream of becoming a Mormon  
  
hamfam: not this shit again  
  
mulligone: don't tell me you illegally watched book of Mormon again  
  
angel: I illegally watched book of mormon again  
  
pegleg: if y'all think this is bad try sleeping in the same room as her  
  
elizard: just... in the middle of the night, loud as hell, "I HAVE MAGGOTS IN MY SCROTUM"  
  
jawnlawn: gross Angie scrotum maggots are a thing you keep to yourself  
  
hamfam: wow  
  
hamfam: also guys I found pics of Angie in her old high school musicals  
  
hamfam: fetus Angie is adorable yall  
  
elizard: ohhh don't tell me you've got pics of me too,,,  
  
hamfam: yess I doooo  
  
jawnlawn: show us the fucking receipts  
  
hamfam: [rent.png]  
  
hamfam: look at angel as Mimi  
  
mulligone: awwwwhhhhh  
  
pegleg: imagine seeing that from the audience tho. scary stuff. she did great though  
  
angel: damn right I did.  
  
marialews: do y'all wanna hear my new mood  
  
pegleg: you're very relatable so yes  
  
marialews: [flagpolesitta.harveydanger.mp3]  
  
madisin: tag yourself im "im not sick but im not well"  
  
thomason: wym babe ur always sick  
  
angel: im "im so hot cause im in hell"  
  
jawnlawn: im "now im an amputee goddamn you"  
  
hamfam: im "and i don't even own a TV"  
  
laffytaffy: what the fuck  
  
washingdone: also relatable  
  
royaltea: gwash!!!!  
  
washingdone: time to leave again  
  
royaltea: i just want to talk  >:/  
  
sirburr: why didn't you just send him a message instead of outing yourself as desperate to the whole GC  
  
royaltea: don't you think I tried??????  
  
royaltea: he left me on read  
  
elizard: oooooo. ouch.  
  
angel: gwash is not only sugar daddy material but he is a g that curves hoes left and right  
  
washingdone: I don't know what you just said but please never say it again  
  
elizard: be our sugar daddy gwash  
  
washingdone: NO  
  
hamfam: hey,, john, laf, herc, I have an idea  
  
laffytaffy: last time you said this i woke up in a strangers pool 7 miles away from my house with my pants missing  
  
laffytaffy: do you know where i found them?  
  
laffytaffy: in your front yard. with handcuffs hanging from the belt loop  
  
jawnlawn: oh i remember that lol  
  
jawnlawn: and i was running from the cops? with elizas lipstick all over my face???  
  
elizard: what about my lipstick  
  
hamfam: sounds about right  
  
mulligone: I don't remember that  
  
jawnlawn: that's because you took like five shots of some horrible mix of tequila, vodka and like three other kinds of alcohol and passed out on the couch  
  
jawnlawn: we thought you fucking died  
  
mulligone: I wish I did  
  
hamfam: back to my idea  
  
hamfam: we should remake gentlemans guide  
  
pegleg: ....you mean that filthy frank video?  
  
hamfam: yes  
  
mulligone: never seen it never want to see it  
  
jawnlawn: i heard francis of the filth ive been summoned  
  
thomason: why am i not surprised  
  
thomason: anyways yalls too late on the Best Friend idea for that cause angel and i already did it  
  
hamfam: aw  
  
angel: nah thom we did the twister game thing remember  
  
angel: we were drunk and i cried because a mouse trap got stuck on my foot and another one got stuck on your nipple?  
  
thomason: i remember but you don't have to inform the REST OF THE DAMN CHAT SMH  
  
angel: Madison threw eggs at us  
  
washingdone: I remember you both texting me about that  
  
washingdone: Please never do it again  
  
angel: and the shock collar thing? LOL  
  
jawnlawn: OK this is going from weird to kinky angel are u sure u and thom are just friends  
  
laffytaffy: wym I used to do that with my buddies in France all the time  
  
mulligone: uuuuhhhhhhh  
  
mulligone: ok laf  
  
sirburr: okay im back  
  
laffytaffy: non!! it is a mark of friendship when you can safely and platonically slather eachothers arms in barbeque sauce and slam your hands down onto an open flame  
  
sirburr: okay im gone  
  
marialews: Burr where tf have you been???  
  
pegleg: yeah man it's been like five days  
  
elizard: we thought you died  
  
sirburr: if only it were true  
  
hamfam: yeah I wish Burr died too  
  
sirburr: wow fuck you  
  
jawnlawn: that's my job  
  
angel: you fucking NASTIES  
  
angel: all the relationships in the chat disgust me. you guys are too Nastee  
  
pegleg: Angelica is all alone poor her  
  
hamfam: don't worry Angie you could always date me  
  
angel: already have wasn't impressed  
  
angel: fuck it I'll just date gwash instead  
  
washingdone: excuse me?  
  
angel: you heard me  
  
elizard: ang no he's old enough to be our dad  
  
pegleg: he might be sugar daddy material but NO  
  
angel: pffft why not  
  
angel: I'll do whatever I want ok  
  
royaltea: no you can't im already dating him  
  
royaltea: mentally  
  
thomason: i thought you were dating seabury  
  
seaberry: he is not  
  
washingdone: uh  
  
angel: get your filthy British hands off my MAN  
  
royaltea: HE WAS MY MAN FIRST  
  
whoresneaker: ok sluts chill out goddamn  
  
royaltea: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A SLUT  
  
angel: don't say slut in the chat alex will get a boner  
  
hamfam: GODDAMNIT AGAIN??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??  
  
hamfam: LET IT GO ANGIE!!!!!  
  
mulligone: only when you and john stop being so fucking loud  
  
laffytaffy: the wall separating our rooms is very thin. we hear everything  
  
marialews: are we kinkshaming again?  
  
whoresneaker: seems so  
  
jawnlawn: wait is that why you guys looked at us weird yesterday morning???  
  
laffytaffy: I never knew you were capable of speaking such cruel words, dear John  
  
hamfam: BAHAHAAA OKKKAAAAY WE CAN STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT NOW BAHAAAA  
  
angel: HE DID IT HE DID THE BAHAHAHA LAUGH  
  
thomason: I thought I was just a myth  
  
hamfam: are y'all making fun of my LAUGH now????  
  
elizard: no we're making fun of the fact that you typed it out  
  
hamfam: ...is that not normal  
  
jawnlawn: no  
  
angel: entyways  
  
angel: y'all know that movie the mummy  
  
angel: with my boi Brendan Fraser  
  
washingdone: yes it's a classic  
  
laffytaffy: what about the mummy with brendan fraser  
  
angel: i love it  
  
pegleg: yess finally ang brings up the real classics  
  
elizard: we already have a list don't we??  
  
mulligone: yes uhh  
  
mulligone: dreamgirls, breakfast club, 16 candles, the mummy & the mummy returns, shrek 2  
  
mulligone: that's all i can think of right now  
  
laffytaffy: don't forget coraline and pans labyrinth  
  
angel: we need a longer list of Classics™

sirburr: do you guys seriously consider shrek 2 a classic  
  
jawnlawn: uh yeah  
  
pegleg: ITS THE BEST ONE????  
  
sirburr: i didn't like it  
  
royaltea: the mummy returns was trash i liked the third one better  
  
whoresneaker: how dare y'all disrespect the CLASSICS like that  
  
angel: thaaaank you, whore sneaker.  
  
marialews: @ burr and royal pain in the ass, stop talking shit or you'll have to meet me in the PIT  
  
laffytaffy: do you all know the show animaniacs  
  
mulligone: yes and THAT REMINDS ME WE SHOULD ADD SHOWS TO OUR LIST OF CLASSICS  
  
angel: holy fuckkkk I loooove animaniacs  
  
angel: me, eliza and peggy are yakko wakko and dot  
  
angel: im yakko  
  
pegleg: im wakko  
  
elizard: and im princess angelina contessa louisa francesca banana fanna bo besca III  
  
elizard: but you can call me dot.  
  
elizard: but don't call me dotty. call me dotty and you die  
  
hamfam: that was..... scarily in sync  
  
mulligone: how long have y'all been planning this moment  
  
marialews: if they're the warner brothers and sister, then im bill clinton playing the sax  
  
laffytaffy: im rita  
  
thomason: me and james are pinky and the brain  
  
royaltea: what the fuck is an animaniac  
  
angel: despicable  
  
thomason: BEGONE, THOT  
  
sirburr: even i know what animaniacs is  
  
angel: im yakko so thank god i already have yakkos world memorized  
  
madisin: BET  
  
pegleg: no mads don't you don't understand  
  
elizard: she's had it memorized since middle school  
  
angel: united states canada mexico panama haiti jamaica peru  
  
thomason: oh god not again  
  
angel: republic dominican cuba caribbean greenland el salvador too  
  
angel: poooorto rico columbia venezuela honduras guyana and still  
  
angel: guatemala bolivia then argentina and ecuador chile brazil  
  
angel: coooosta rica belize nicaragua bermuda  
  
angel: bahamas tobago san juan  
  
angel: paraguay uruguay surinam and french guyana barbados and GUUUUUAAAAAMMM  
  
hamfam: im not even mad im impressed

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate every kudos, hit and comment! :) I'm so glad y'all are enjoying my fic?? It's unbelievable. I love you guys loads.
> 
> Stay tuned!


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